(From memory:)
Ry: Oh no- carrying bodies now is a pain. I just sacrificed… Well, faith is a test.
LL: IT IS, ISN'T IT?
(Fliss and Ry have a quiet panic-laugh over The Realization.)
Ry: Hey Fliss, did you uh, hear something, maybe the wind?
(Video starts here. It's choppy, but the audio is preserved.)
LL: (Laughs.)
Fliss: Nope… I… Dunno…
Ry: Probably just the wind, I mean…
Fliss: I think I turned my hearing aids off, and...
Ry: Lots of weird noises, house settling...
LL: ARE YOU GUYS F**KING WITH EACH OTHER? (Laughs.)
(Fliss & Ry: woRRIED LAUGHING.)
Ry: Oh… Hiya, Fool. How’s it going tonight?
LL: DID YOU JUST CALL ME A FOOL?
Ry: I mean. Wasn’t talking to Fliss.
LL: UGH. AS COULD BE EXPECTED FROM SOMEONE WHO FOLLOWS MANAGEMENT. (Fliss laughs.) SO BORING. SO ~EDGY~, EUUUUGHH.
Fliss: Yeah- one of us, one of us! How you doing, LL Cool J?
Ry: (Sigh.) Oh my god.
LL: HEY, I LIKE THAT MONIKER...
Fliss: Thank you, I’ve got one for everyone.
LL: THANKS, FLISS...
Fliss: I, I’ve been coming up with names for everybody. So, if, if you-
LL: YEAH? HIT ME WITH SOME MORE.
Fliss: Alright… So, we got… Uh, Dance Dance Revolution...
(Here’s where you start to hear the video gets about a second behind LL and Fliss' audio; I'm not sure what causes it, and I didn’t catch on to being behind them till later. When I did, I tried to stay quiet so I didn’t interrupt.)
LL: LOVE IT.
Fliss: Okay, um… Oh, marked that person. Uh… Specifically you have to say it like this, (chanting:) one of us, one of us! (Ryder snorts.) That’s that management you were talking about.
LL: YES, YES... I DIG IT, I DIG IT...
Fliss: Um… Who else was I- Oh, TMZ Entertainment. (Ryder laughs.)
LL: (Laughs.)
Ry: (Under his breath:) oh my god...
Fliss: Um… Uh, Toothache. That was a fun one.
LL: HMM! OKAY, I LIKE IT.
Fliss: And Bitter and Salty.
LL: THESE ARE GREAT! WHAT WAS THAT LAST ONE?
Fliss: Bitter and salty!
LL: OH... MAN! YOU SHOULD WRITE JOKES FOR A LIVING, THESE ARE GREAT! YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR FRIEND RYDER THERE HOW TO LIGHTEN UP.
Fliss: It, it depends. I, I, I can go either way. He calls me the fun police because I call him out on stuff.
Ry: To be fair, Fliss really is the fun police.
LL: I DON'T KNOW, YOU SEEM LIKE MY CUP OF TEA.
Ry: Oh no…
LL: SAY, YOU WOULDN'T BE INTERESTED IN TANGOING WITH "LL COOL J" OVER HERE, WOULD YOU?
Fliss: Sorry, one second… Oh you- you just shot him... (A tranqed lucid) Cold as ice.
Ry: Don’t do it, Fliss.
Fliss: (Laughs.) Um. So. I… Am… Currently unaffiliated because I only got here… Two weeks ago. And my goal is to find…
LL: TWO WEEKS IS LONGER THAN I'VE DATED ANYONE, REALLY.(Laughs.)
Fliss: I’ve heard… Some things.
LL: WELL, SINCE THE BREAKUP...
Ryder: Oh yeah- Hey you should go, you should tell the grudge bearer that you think her thorns are pretty.
LL: RYDER… JUST… SIT THIS ONE OUT, ALRIGHT?
Fliss: Oh, I, uh, Someone was telling me earlier, and I was like… What, what was it… I don’t know, I don’t think you saw this Ryder, because this was in, um, the group chat, elsewhere… I was like, “hey girl… How those grudges you been seeding growing? Heard they been growing good.”
LL: (Laughs.) HAVE YOU... INTERACTED WITH SEED-THE-GRUDGE?
Fliss: I have not, which is why I can say that (Laughs.) and not feel so bad about it.
LL: HMMM... WELL YOU KNOW IF YOU DO, I WOULDN'T OBJECT IF YOU WANTED TO, YOU KNOW, MENTION MY NAME, MAYBE...
Fliss: I can probably do that maybe. Possibly.
LL. WHY THANK YOU. SAY, YOU WANNA GO SOMEWHERE MORE CALM TO TALK?
Ry: Oh…
Fliss: Sure, I’m just chillin, I’m just…
Ry: Oh god, hold onto something.
LL: ALRIGHT... YES, BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELTS, 'CAUSE WE'RE GOING ON A RIDE!
(Fliss and Ryder are taken to The Moon.)
Ry: Holy sh*t…
LL: WHAT DO YOU THINK? WELCOME TO MY HUMBLE ABODE. (Laughs.)
Fliss: It is certainly very lunar.
LL: ISN'T IT THOUGH? THAT WAS THE WHOLE THEME I WAS GOING FOR.
Fliss: I, I think you got it.
LL: YEAH... BUT HEY. I KNOW YOU SAID YOU'RE "UNAFFILIATED"... BUT C'MON. LET'S NOT... KID EACH OTHER ANYMORE. YOU WANNA BE TEAM LAUGH-LAST, RIGHT? YOU WERE BORN FOR THIS! YOU'RE A NATURAL JOKE WRITER- YOU'VE GOT PUNCHLINES I HAVEN'T EVEN THOUGHT OF YET.
Ry: Fliss... (Fliss laughs.) Think about this, before you make any sudden moves. This guy, really, out of all of ‘em?
LL: DON'T LISTEN TO RYDER... RYDER FOLLOWS A GLORIFIED MALL COP.
Fliss: Well…
LL: COME ON...
Fliss: I really appreciate the offer, but as you are the first, um… Person to talk to me, I… Don’t wanna sell myself short and choose someone right off the bat. I’m gonna… I’m gonna…
LL: HMM.
Fliss: Not quite shop around, but… As I said, at the end of the day… My objective is truth. “Capital T” Truth. Not The Truth, cause I met him, and I don’t think he really… Was tellin’, was talking a lot of, you know, the actual “Capital T” Truth. But.
Ry: Oh my god.
LL: (Snoring noises.) SORRY- I NODDED OFF THERE FOR A SECOND- LISTEN, IF IT'S GONNA BE A HARD NO, THAT'S FINE. I'M NOT A PUSHY GUY. BUT... LET'S NOT LEAVE THE DOOR CLOSED, SHALL WE? WHY DON'T YOU COME VISIT ME SOMETIME, FIND YOUR MIRROR, SAY A FEW PRAYERS, TELL ME SOME OF THOSE JOKES THAT YOU'VE BEEN WRITING... THEY ARE GOOD. YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET SERIOUS YET, YOU CAN JUST, YOU KNOW... TALK. CHILL. WHADDAYA SAY?
Fliss: Alright, I can do that.
LL: YEAH. I'M CONFIDENT WHEN YOU'RE READY, YOU'LL COME BACK. (laughs.) THAT IS, IF YOU STOP HANGING OUT WITH RYDER, OH MY GOD, WHAT A LOSER.
Ry: (stunned, apparently...) Yeah…
Fliss: You’re not wrong!
Ry: Hey! Fu-
LL: (Laughs.)
Fliss: He’s a big nerd.
Ry: F<nowiki**</nowiki>kin’ fun police.
LL: ALRIGHT, GO ABOUT YOUR DAY... ENJOY YOURSELF. TRY TO KEEP LAUGHING. AND, YOU KNOW, WE'LL TALK AGAIN.
Fliss: I’ll do my best. (Dabs because I have no salute emote.)
LL: DAB IT OUT, FRIEND.
(Mission ends. Back at the boxcar, Fliss finds a halo. Hilariously, Ry does not.)
